Researchers Say Humans Lost The Penis Bone Because Sex Was Too Short

Why Does This Guy Look So Happy?

Why Does This Guy Look So Happy?

Does he look happy? It's hard to say. Speaking of "hard", whether his expression is positive or negative, perhaps it's as a result of learning that we humans do not have a bone in our penises. A male walrus has a bone in his penis that's about two feet long! Seriously!

Let The Boner Jokes Come Naturally, It's Perfectly Okay

Let The Boner Jokes Come Naturally, It's Perfectly Okay

In fact, there are many animal on Earth that have a penis bone, scientifically known as the baculum.

They range in size from the big old walrus down to some monkeys who have a baculum about the size of the average. They needn't feel cheated, however, as they know humans don't have one at all.

As it turns out, it's because we don't need them. Evolution has a way of sorting these things out for us.

The Long And Short Of It

The Long And Short Of It

According to a study at the University College London (UCL), reported by rt.com, the first bacula (both the plural form of baculum, and a really cool potential name for a death metal band) appeared in mammals sometime between 145 and 95 million years ago.

As evolution went on, they got bigger or smaller according to different species own individual evolution.

Do It Like They Do

Do It Like They Do

What researchers found was that the mammals that kept the baculum were those who engaged in what is known as “prolonged intromission," which really just means that they "do it like they do on the Discovery Channel" for longer than three minutes.

The longer sexy time affords the male the opportunity to impregnate his lady-friend while also fending off any potential rivals.

Who Put The Bone In Boner?

Who Put The Bone In Boner?

However, as Homo erectus began down the path of monogamy a shade under two million years ago (eventually leading to the habit of modern day Homo sapiens like you and me – but not fans of Big Love, probably), there was no need to mate for so long, and so the bone just kind of got phased out of the boner.

The researchers reckoned that the male does not need to be in the female for as long in monogamous relationships because she probably won’t be set upon by challengers. Therefore, the bone isn’t necessary to help him stay up for longer and locked in.

Our closest cousins, the chimpanzees and bonobos, have very small bacula when compared to many other mammals that do.