12 Texts To Make You Happy That You're Single

That's Quite Specific

That's Quite Specific

We wonder if they already knew exactly how far away the Sun is or if it was Googled. Either way, it's a pretty solid diss, really.

Dog Shit

Dog Shit

It's kind of a poor reflection on both of them when you think about it. I mean, it's one thing to be a piece of dog shit but then another thing altogether to willingly spend time with someone who turns out to be dog shit.

Pulling A Swifty

Pulling A Swifty

They really, really left the door open for this one!

As Dead As Roses

As Dead As Roses

I have not met this dude but seriously, he is most definitely a douche, as was so eloquently pointed out.

Baby Carrots

Baby Carrots

I was eating raisins and thought of your shriveled up ball sack...??

N and O

N and O

I don't know the specifics of the situation, however, I do know that the first bit of the exchange made me throw up in my mouth.

Middle Finger Boner

Middle Finger Boner

If you got a penis transplant and the only thing they could use was your finger, would they leave the knuckle where it is?

The World's End

The World's End

Let's be honest, if the world is ending tomorrow then you've both got better things to do and better people to spending your last day with. Personally, I'd take up heroin, but that's just me.

Enough Middle Fingers

Enough Middle Fingers

I don't know about you guys but I'm imagining this chick using however many middle fingers she has to do some really freaky shit!

The Point

The Point

There's absolutely zero come backs to choose from when responding to this. You. Got. Owned.

Like A Penny

Like A Penny

Poor grammar and only mildly poetic but hey, she's emotional and just doing her best. Let's let her have it this one time, okay?

Shove That Pinky

Shove That Pinky

This isn't quite as kinky as that chick with all the middle fingers but it's a start and perhaps they'll work up to it.