20 Funniest Text Messages Found On The Internet

Ouch!

Ouch!

On the plus side, it doesn't sound like this person is getting enough action to require the anti-virus in the pants....

The Last Word

The Last Word

Letting someone know that you're intent on getting the last word kind of defeats the purpose of having the last word, right?



Drink and Drive

Drink and Drive

So tells us, where did he go?

Mega Best Friends

Mega Best Friends

Do mega best friends get to see each others' rude bits?



Met This Prostitute

Met This Prostitute

We're hoping this prostitute is using the profession to put herself through university, where she is top of her class in math.

Beautiful Mario

Beautiful Mario

This relationship progressed quite quickly, didn't it? Or at least, it did for one of them.

How awkward would it have been when Mario came around to look at the car the next day?!



Where Accidents Happen

Where Accidents Happen

If this person responds absolutely any other way than "yeah", then this text exchange breaks down instantly. Just pointing that out...

Jack Shit

Jack Shit

Very clever, if not a little longwinded and unnecessary. The history of the Shit family is quite an interesting one.



Bow To The King

Bow To The King

Since when is "alligate" a legit verb?

Get Her Prego

Get Her Prego

Dad wins. The end.



The Slut Tree

The Slut Tree

Wait, there's a slut tree?!

Supposing a dude might want to locate this slut tree...

Are You Single?

Are You Single?

I'd really like to know the rest of the story. Like, did she think he was just being charming and doing a bit of role playing type stuff or are they broken up now?



Apple Sauce

Apple Sauce

Who cares what you do with the money, weirdo.

Oh Wait...

Oh Wait...

Let's put this dude in a cupboard and see if he can find his own way out.



The Little Things

The Little Things

I too enjoy the little things. One of those things being the unhappiness of others in the fallout of a breakup and the ensuing text exchanges that we occasionally get to eaves drop on.

The Titty Scale

The Titty Scale

In Japan they have a different scale to the Richter scale. It can make things confusing if different places are using different scales. To make it universal, perhaps we could all change to the Titty scale?



I Thought This Would Turn Out To Be A Euphemism

I Thought This Would Turn Out To Be A Euphemism

You don't just hide a dog, do you? I'm surprised that there was no "why?" involved in this conversation.

A Short List Of Concerns

A Short List Of Concerns

This guy has anger management issues, possible bipolar, and a really sharp toothbrush.



Bacon Over All

Bacon Over All

I've never been disappointed by bacon. Although, I've never had my heart and cholesterol levels checked.

No Longer In Service

No Longer In Service

What makes this worse is that this is a text sent to the local priest.