20 Things A Guy Should Never Say To A Woman

No

No

Unless she asks you this question; "Did you try and hit on my sister?" And when you answer in the negative, we really hope that you're able to tell the truth.

Can I kiss you?

Can I kiss you?

Dude, if you need to ask the question then perhaps the answer should already be "no".

Is that what you're going to wear?

Is that what you're going to wear?

Let's be honest, you're know style master yourself and she probably has a better grasp on fashion than you, you slob!

Are you sure it's mine?

Are you sure it's mine?

Actually, if you have any actual doubt, then perhaps you should be asking this question. But if you're almost certain (save for an immaculate conception) that it is yours, this is one way to get a new life off on the wrong foot.

What are you thinking about?

What are you thinking about?

Dude, you do not want to know!

Bitch

Bitch

This is one that she might hold to you for the rest of your days on this Earth, even if it isn't as bad as some others you feel like saying at times.

Is it that time of the month?

Is it that time of the month?

Whether it is or it isn't, either way you've made a fatal mistake, boy!

She's hot!

She's hot!

Yeah, way to go, genius! Pointing out how attractive another girl is will never get you anything but your name firmly scrawled in the bad books.

I'm such a loser

I'm such a loser

Getting down on yourself with that sort of language will plant the idea in her head that perhaps you are. That is, unless it merely confirms for her what she's been thinking for a while now.

Are you going to eat all of that?

Are you going to eat all of that?

You think she's fat and shouldn't be eating it!

Perhaps that's not the case and you're just impressed/amazed that she can manage it. But you know exactly how she is going to take it and no amount of reassurance will change that.

My Ex...

My Ex...

She doesn't want to be compared to someone else, no matter how much you say you favor her. Way to make a girl feel special!

What did you do to your hair?

What did you do to your hair?

You love what she's done with her hair. I mean, even if it's the most horrific thing you've seen since that doctor removed a humongous blackhead on YouTube, you love her hair...

That's your mother talking

That's your mother talking

Congratulations, you've not only managed to insult your girl and make her angry, but you dragged her mom in to things and gave her a bit of a character bash for good measure. Smart guy!

I might just sit this one out

I might just sit this one out

No you won't. You'll go with her and diligently hang by her side, pretending to enjoy whatever garbage night she's got you enduring. Then you'll do it again next time, because you lover her!

I hate your friends

I hate your friends

If you like/love her, then it's great if you can like/love her friends. If that's impossible because they're idiots, you'll have to find a way to tolerate them (or organize something very important each and every time it's expected you'll hang out with them).

Your turn to pick up the check this time

Your turn to pick up the check this time

Cheap!

Be a man, will you?!

You wouldn't understand. It's a guy thing

You wouldn't understand. It's a guy thing

Women are usually fairly sure they've got guys figured out, or at least, they see guys as simple creatures that like some stuff and don't like other stuff - they really aren't that complicated compared to some other toys. Therefore, it's insulting when you suggest there might be something about guys that they wouldn't be able to comprehend.

How many guy shave you been with?

How many guy shave you been with?

C'mon, man! Do you really want to know?

We should have a threesome

We should have a threesome

Maybe you should have a threesome.... Then again, maybe she'll think she's not enough for you. Be very careful with this one. But if you do get her on the same line of thought, don't be surprised when she turns and suggests a threesome involving another dude. Fair is fair, right?

You're crazy

You're crazy

Hey look, she might be crazy. We get it. But you can't tell her that! You just calmly gather all your shit and march in the opposite direction as soon as you've made that diagnosis. If you hang around, you deserve everything that you get.

Unless of course, she isn't crazy and it's you that's the problem. But that's a whole other list!