25 Of The Funniest Chinese-To-English Translations On The Internet

Mixed Signals

Mixed Signals

I'm not sure what it is they're encouraging me to do here. Against my better judgment, I'm just going to go ahead and get drunk before I drive home. It's a foreign country with their own rules. I wouldn't want to do the wrong thing...

Sound OH&S Practices

Sound OH&S Practices

It's great to see that even though we're punishing somebody by taking their life away from them, we've still got issues of occupational health and safety at the forefront.



Getting Them All Together

Getting Them All Together

With any luck, this sign was erected in order to get them all together and teach them a lesson or two. Or perhaps to get them all neutered....

What Are They Selling?

What Are They Selling?

So, is this an antique store or a brothel?



These Paps Ain't Gunna Smear Themselves

These Paps Ain't Gunna Smear Themselves

Depending on which part of the English speaking world you come from, this is somewhere on the scale from moderately to severely offensive. But you can't deny that it is also funny. Remember, being offended never gave anybody cancer.

I Don't Know What To Do...

I Don't Know What To Do...

How do you know it's not?

It's difficult to know whether this will solve or exacerbate my problems in the event of a fire...



Awkward...

Awkward...

Well, this is awkward. I mean, you can see how they got to think this would be the appropriate translation, however, it's amazing that somebody hasn't gently brought the issue to their attention and had the problem rectified.

You're Delicious!

You're Delicious!

Whatever you do, do not turn yourself in to something that may be eaten. That is simply not an option for those who frequent this particular place.



Not Here. Not Now.

Not Here. Not Now.

If that little cartoon of what appears to be a happy police officer doesn't want me to shit in public then I will certainly do my best. I mean, I would really like to take a shit right here but I had better not...

The Time Sex Continuum

The Time Sex Continuum

Who knows what they were actually trying to say here..?? Personally, I prefer not to know. Sometimes it's best not to ruin the magic.



Merely A Guide

Merely A Guide

As a matter of your own personal safety, may I suggest not following this order too strictly. These are intended only as a guide.

Trash Of The Devil

Trash Of The Devil

I'm not sure if rubbish as a collective can all be placed under the same malevolent banner, however, I'm not about to go in to battle for them either.



Pee In The Pool Because It Feels Good

Pee In The Pool Because It Feels Good

It appears that I'm going to be pretty damn good no matter which option I choose here and so I will urinate in the pool, simply because it sounds like the most liberating experience listed.

Rotten Child

Rotten Child

Whatever is going on in this kitchen can only be solved by Gordon Ramsey. Probably .



Fresh Crap

Fresh Crap

Back in the day, we used to call fresh crap floating in water an "aqua bog".

Wang Met His Fate

Wang Met His Fate

It's true. Wang did have to burn. Wang was a witch. Ain't nobody got time for that!



Grab Me By The...

Grab Me By The...

In some countries, you can get pretty much everything at a 7Eleven store. Even hand-jobs.

Giant Mr Frog Building Staircase Batman Fork

Giant Mr Frog Building Staircase Batman Fork

This appears to be a collection of words that have been thrown together in much the same way as the the meal, in order to represent the random bunch of ingredients. It's quite artistic when you think about it...



If You're Going To Do It...

If You're Going To Do It...

If you're going to slip over in this public park, you just make sure that you don't crack your head open and piss blood all over the place. We don't have time to clean up after your clumsy ass!

Foot (On The) Loose

Foot (On The) Loose

Is this some sort of crazed foot on the loose which may or may not creep up behind me and kick me in the ass? And if not, then why should I care?



Did They Mean "Discount"?

Did They Mean "Discount"?

I was not going to ask for one but thanks all the same. I'll be taking my business elsewhere.

Mystery Meal

Mystery Meal

This chef became so uninspired and complacent that he simply gave up trying to name his menu items to include any hint whatsoever of what might be in it.



...Before It Gets You!

...Before It Gets You!

If there's one thing we often ignore when it comes to things with the potential to cause us harm, it's safety itself. Safety; the silent killer!

I'm Totally Confused!

I'm Totally Confused!

You want me to what when what happens...???



But First....

But First....

Make sure you buy them first. Then you can take them home and do whatever you wish with them.