25 Of The Worst Anti-Jokes You'll Hear This Year

What's red and smells just like yellow paint?

What's red and smells just like yellow paint?

Red paint.

What's brown and sticky?

What's brown and sticky?

A brown stick.

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream "Get me out of this coffin!"

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer?

Hey, we're both lawyers.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

"Hey Robin, get in the car. We've gotta go".

What did the homeless man get for a Christmas present?

What did the homeless man get for a Christmas present?

Probably nothing.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Has anyone seen my tractor?"

Knock, Knock...

Knock, Knock...

Just come in. It's open.

How many folks with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

How many folks with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who just happens to be on your doorstep?

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who just happens to be on your doorstep?

You don't call him.It's pointless. He can't move.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one.

What has two legs, and is red all over?

What has two legs, and is red all over?

One half of a cat.

Why did the man buy a watermelon?

Why did the man buy a watermelon?

Because he likes watermelon and he wanted to eat it.

Why did the young boy drop his ice cream?

Why did the young boy drop his ice cream?

Because he was holding it when he got run over by a truck.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends?

Why didn't the octopus have any friends?

They tend to be antisocial creatures by their very nature and don't often hang around with other octopuses.

Why did the waiter put shoe laces in the soup?

Why did the waiter put shoe laces in the soup?

Because he was a very bad waiter.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are actually human inventions and have no tangible presence, or ability to feel complex emotions such as fear. 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Anything I say would just be a guess because chickens are incapable of verbalizing their reasoning for doing anything, including crossing roads.

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Being devoured by a huge bear.

What did the employee say to her boss when she let work for the day?

What did the employee say to her boss when she let work for the day?

"See ya later".

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

*stares blankly at the person without saying a word

What do you get when you toss a blue ball in the Red Sea?

What do you get when you toss a blue ball in the Red Sea?

A wet blue ball.

What's green, fuzzy, and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree?

What's green, fuzzy, and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree?

A pool table.

Want to hear three short jokes and a long joke?

Want to hear three short jokes and a long joke?

"Joke, joke, joke, jooooooooooooke".