12 Bizarre Contraceptive Methods Used In The Past

Stay Away From The Moon

Stay Away From The Moon

Those people native to Greenland used to believe that the Moon was responsible for fertility. So, as a means of contraception, they would simply avoid looking at it, and even sleeping belly down so the sneaky Moon wouldn't pop a baby in there.

Honey

Honey

In Ancient Mesopotamia, a lady would often mix the sweet stuff with acacia leaves and pop that mixture you-know-where. Perhaps it even worked sometimes.



Crocodile Poop

Crocodile Poop

Ancient Egyptians decided that mixing crocodile droppings with honey was the way to go when trying to stop a baby from finding its way in to a lady's body. They used it much like the Ancient Mesopotamians. We reckon that merely going anywhere near a crocodile is probably a pretty good way to keep the population down, even without having to rub their feces on a lady's rude bits!

Drinking Mercury

Drinking Mercury

This happened millennia ago in China, right after doing the deed. I mean, it probably worked in preventing them from getting pregnant but it also resulted in brain damage. Is it worth it?



Animal Intestines

Animal Intestines

This has been practiced as far back as 3000BC by the Ancient Greeks and, let's be honest, it's pretty self-explanatory. While it mind sound pretty disgusting - you eat parts of an animal you don't want to know about each and every time you have a sausage. Which is worse?

Lemons

Lemons

During the 1700s, they reckoned that the acidic juice from a lemon would kill sperm dead! So naturally, they cut a lemon in half and put it ....well...you know where they put it. On the plus side, they had an excuse to have seconds!



Listening To Aristotle

Listening To Aristotle

For those who aren't familiar, Aristotle was a Greek scientist and philosopher who wrote on subjects from physics to biology, zoology, metaphysics, logic, esthetics, ethics, linguistics, poetry, theater, music, politics and more. The dude was a legit genius. But that doesn't mean he was all hit and no miss.

When it comes to matters of contraception, for example, Aristotle suggested that the best method would be to rub the lady's "womb" with cedar oil, incense, olive oil, and just a dab of toxic lead. Yeah, don't do that....

Jumping Up And Down

Jumping Up And Down

Still in Ancient Greece, there was a dude named Soranus of Ephesus who reckoned that, having done the deed, the lady should jump up and down, somehow putting her in the clear.



Gold, Silver And Ivory Diaphragms

Gold, Silver And Ivory Diaphragms

These were said to be just bigger versions of a thimble and to be fair, they probably worked. However, we can't imagine it being a pleasant experience for anybody involved.

Onion Juice

Onion Juice

Parts of Medieval Europe would engage in the practice of shotting onion juice in the belief that it would stop a pregnancy. I mean, perhaps it would, but only in the sense that no dude would want to go near a chick whose breath smelled like that. But doing it after sex as they were said to ...well, that's a big old pungent waste of time.



Soda Douche

Soda Douche

It's exactly how it sounds and is believed to have been practiced up until the 1980s in some places. Obviously, it didn't work, not even once.

A Blacksmith's Water

A Blacksmith's Water

Of course, drinking the residual water following a blacksmith's daily toil would work as a contraceptive (permanently), it also had a really strong chance of ending your life. So, there's that....