12 Types Of Facebook Friends You Don't Need

Keyboard Gangster

Keyboard Gangster

This guy is quite funny at times but then a lot of the time you may question his intentions, if not sanity. He is annoying because all he does on Facebook is pick fights. He does so with people he is pretty sure he will never meet, but if he does, he will avoid eye contact.

The Snitch

The Snitch

This is the type of person you despised in high school and college and guess what…. He’s still at it on Facebook. He will describe the ending of every new film you plan to see with much detail and if he watches the new episode of Games of Thrones first he will intentionally sum it up for all his “friends” just so he can get off over knowing stuff before someone else.

The Avid Gamer

The Avid Gamer

Some people are too cheap to buy a proper games console or they just like to procrastinate messing about with Candy Crush (is that still even a thing?). So they annoy you with requests and invitations to play such things; usually the aforementioned Candy Crush (or whatever dribble it's been replaced by since I last took notice). Delete these people upon every request and you’re bound to have a more stress-free experience on Facebook.

The Religious Freak

The Religious Freak

On the surface, he or she is peacefully promoting his or her religion, which is fine in small doses. To each their own, etc,. But gradually you come to realize that they are promoting their religion whilst putting down other religions and thereby perpetuating the world’s religious issues where violence is an eventual by-product.

The Hater

The Hater

The Hater is a passive aggressive prick. He or she doesn’t necessarily use profanity or attack you directly, but they wait until they find a chance to project their negativity in a comment on a photo you post or an important announcement you make. They don’t use the Like button but every now and then they say things like, “Have you put on weight or is it just what you’re wearing?” and “You look really tired.” His makes them feel better somehow.

The Humble Narcissist

The Humble Narcissist

These people are the worst. They are usually at least moderately attractive and will spend way too much time taking a “quick” selfie that was actually the three or four hundredth effort, taking just enough to make it look simultaneously spontaneous and sexy. Then they’ll post it and say something like, “Woke up on the wrong side of the bed to day”. You’re supposed to reply with something positive like all the other idiots but it’s best to agree wholeheartedly and ruin their week.

Way Too Much Info!

Way Too Much Info!

They get up in the morning and post their first thoughts and how big their turd was. They neglect to realize that it is by doing this constantly all day long, that nobody actually listens, or rather reads, anything they say with any real interest. Too much information.

The Annoying Inviter

The Annoying Inviter

If you live in Australia and their party on the weekend is in Norway, they will still invite you even though you met on a working holiday in Europe four years ago. Realistically they know you can’t come if they only calmed down from the anticipatory excitement for just a moment.

But this is nothing when compared to the rage we feel when we're sent an invitation to like a page, or play a game that we simply do not care about. We don't play Facebook games. Leave us alone!

The Complainer

The Complainer

This type of Facebook user is never happy. Strange how they need to share it with everyone including the few hundred “friends” they have that they hardly know who couldn’t care less and now just think they’re emotionally unstable. Airing your problems via a social networking site will not help them, if anything, it might exacerbate them. So go talk to your family or a professional.

The BS Philosopher

The BS Philosopher

This type of Facebook user is particularly annoying because everybody who reads their posts know that they have probably never even read a book by Plato, Aristotle, Voltaire, Nietzsche, Camus, or whoever else they happen to repost quotes from. Yeah, reposting quotes from a famous philosopher is going to make woman find you attractive.....

Post Pictures Of Food, Endlessly

Post Pictures Of Food, Endlessly

Even if you happen to be a five star Michelin chef, I don’t necessarily need to see every little culinary treasure you come up with. And if you’re some amateur at home knocking up a schnitzel and salad, unless you dropped it on your dog and even he won’t eat it, then keep the camera out of the kitchen. It’s distracting you from your attempts at not ruining boiling an egg…and oh yeah; nobody cares.

Those Who Keep Tagging Us In Every Post!

Those Who Keep Tagging Us In Every Post!

These people are cool until you start to realise that it could be having a legitimate, tangibly negative affect on your life. You see, every time you’re tagged in a post it gives away your whereabouts. You know the creepy kid you went to school with a few years ago who stumbled back to your place from the bar to continue partying one night, that you added because you didn’t want to be rude? Well, he’s been addicted to meth for some time now and he now knows when you aren’t home. Goodbye flat screen TV….