20 Everyday Things People Say We Wish They Wouldn't Because They Don't Really Mean Them

Find everything okay?

Find everything okay?

This happens only after you've arrived at the checkout. Sure, it's nice and sounds like the right thing for them to say but seriously, where were you when I was trying to find things? If I hadn't found everything, would I be at the damn checkout?!

Tell him/her I said "hi"

Tell him/her I said "hi"

Suppose I do as you ask ...what is this person supposed to do with this "hi" you've asked me to pass along? I don't think I'll bother. Let's not and say we did!

We should talk more

We should talk more

It's a reassuring way to end a conversation you'd rather not be having (at least, that's how I'm guilty of using it).

'Til death do us part

'Til death do us part

It sounds like a nice (if not slightly morbid) thing to say but it could just as easily be rephrased "'til I grow sick of your shit and upgrade to a newer model".

Just a moment

Just a moment

I don't know about anybody else but that "moment" they speak of always lasts far longer than what I had envisaged was the universal timeframe of a moment. Perhaps it's just me.

That's Funny

That's Funny

And yet, you're not laughing...

Call if you need anything

Call if you need anything

You see this often on Facebook. It's one of those things where the person wants to be seen as lending support but really, they're way too busy with their lives to actually give a shit about yours. They secretly dread the thought of you actually taking them up on the offer.

Do you want a bite?

Do you want a bite?

Reverse the roles; do you really want the person you're with to have a bite of your delicious pizza? I mean, it's damn tasty! They should really get their own ...but you don't want to feel guilty by not asking, right?

I'm fine

I'm fine

But on the inside....

I love/hate _____

I love/hate _____

Whatever it is you hate or love, we all know that your feelings are nowhere near that strong. If they were, you'd be emotionally exhausted within an hour of getting up each morning.

LOL

LOL

Studies have shown that 99.9% of people who type "lol" are not actually laughing out loud at the time of writing. Probably.

I'm not going to tell anybody

I'm not going to tell anybody

Bullshit. They definitely are.

I hate drama

I hate drama

No, what you really meant to say was, "I love creating some drama that I've made sure doesn't directly involved me, then kicking back with some popcorn and watching the shitstorm go down".

I'm not ready for a relationship

I'm not ready for a relationship

This is true, it's just that they left a few words off the end of the sentence; "with you. Ever".

Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims at this time

Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims at this time

Shut up!

I don't care what people think of me

I don't care what people think of me

It's funny how it came to your mind to feel like you needed to enforce that point. I don't want to get too psychological on you but let's be honest, if you didn't care what people think then it wouldn't have come to your mind to tell me you don't, based on the fact that you don't care. You see where I'm going with this...???

Literally

Literally

These days, more often than not, people say "literally" when what they mean is "figuratively". Yeah, that's the exact opposite and we literally want to kill you when you say it.

No offense but....

No offense but....

Just saying the words "no offense" isn't a magic spell that automatically relinquishes any hint of you being an absolute jerk when you say something offensive straight after.

I have read and agreed to the terms of service

I have read and agreed to the terms of service

If you actually have then you could get yourself in the Guinness Book of Records for being among the dullest people on the planet.

Your call is important to us

Your call is important to us

How do you know I'm not just calling up to make fart noises in to the phone with my mouth?