20 Great Excuses For When You Really Want To Leave Work Early

24th January 2017

Home Repairs

Tell the boss there's a repairman coming out to your house and it's an emergency.

Auto Emergency

The same as with the house only replace house with car. Your car is making some crazy noise but, of course, you need it checked before the garage closes.

Home Security Issue

It's a little ballsy, but tell your boss your house suffered an attempted break-in the previous night, and you need to fix whatever damage they did.

Sick Kids

You might want to make sure you have kids first, or at least, make sure your boss doesn't know you don't. The rest is self-explanatory.

Legal Issues

There's some problem from the past that has come back to haunt you and you need to see a lawyer. Make sure that you make it known you're not a criminal.

Lady Doctor

You need to see the gynecologist. Trust me, your boss won't ask anything further. You're going to want to be a woman, though.

Urgent Delivery

You're awaiting an urgent delivery and you need to get home to meet the delivery person at the supposedly specified time.

I've Got This Friend

You've got a friend who just suffered a major life tragedy and really doesn't have anyone else to be there for them. You don't want to leave work but it's only right that you're there for them.

Bit Of An Accident

You had a "bit of an accident" and you need to go home to change your pants. Your boss won't expect you to come back in to work today. This one might require you to have very little shame.

You've Got Visitors

Friends/family that were supposed to arrive on the weekend have just called and said they'd be arriving early - within the hour!

Migraine

Tell your boss you've got a migraine and then at exactly however someone who has a migraine acts. Clearly, this is something you should know beforehand. Apparently it hurts...??

Hemorrhoids

If you've got the sand to drop the H-bomb you might even find yourself with a couple of free days for activities.

Back Pain

There's nothing worse than sitting at a desk all day when you've got a sore back. I bet the doctor will make you take a week off if you don't get some immediate relief from it today.

Allergic

Being allergic to work isn't going to cut it. You'll have to think of a more legit allergy that happens to be really causing a concern for you today. Better yet, go in to the bathroom and sniff some chili powder. Then come back out and let the natural course of events take care of the situation for you.

Stupid Neighbors

Your neighbors were chopping down a tree and managed to set off your home security alarm. Idiots!

You've Got A Virus

You've picked up a stomach virus and you need to go home while it goes away. If you really need to seal the deal, shit your pants on purpose.

There's Been An Accident

Not the same type of accident as before. This one involves a member of your family getting in to a car accident. Be careful with this one. If your boss knows your family, you should probably buy your wife a neck brace.

What A Good Friend Should Do

If you're going to make shit up then you might as well go the whole hog, right? Tell your boss that your best friend is escaping from an abusive relationship and she needs your help to get her stuff while he's at work.

The Doctor Said

You are currently suffering from .....I don't know..... a ruptured colon, and the doctor told you to only stay at work until you started to feel pain and get fatigued.

Emergency Dental

You have an oppressively persistent tooth ache and it feels like you should probably see a dentist immediately.