20 Reasons Why Drinking Alcohol Is Awesome

You Had A Good Day

You Had A Good Day

If you can't celebrate a good day with a few drinks then what is the actual point?

You Had A Bad Day

You Had A Bad Day

On the opposite side of that coin, suppose you had a bad day... A few drinks might just be the trick to offer you comfort (you know, just so long as you don't repeat the process each and every day until you wake up with a glass of vodka).



You Had A "Meh" Day

You Had A "Meh" Day

So very many doctors around the globe will tell you that a glass of red wine each day lowers your risk of heart disease. Let's take stock, shall we? These are actual legit people who went to medical school who are telling you to drink alcohol! What more encouragement do you need?!

Because Whiskey

Because Whiskey

Because whiskey. Any questions?



The Doctor Said So

The Doctor Said So

So very many doctors around the globe will tell you that a glass of red wine each day lowers your risk of heart disease. Let's take stock, shall we? These are actual legit people who went to medical school who are telling you to drink alcohol! What more encouragement do you need?!

Social Lubricant

Social Lubricant

Whilst the term "social lubricant" sounds like something you might hand out at a well organized wife-swap, those with their minds out of the gutter understand what this means. And we could all do with more friends, right?



Drinking Games

Drinking Games

Drinking games are a whole lot of fun, but as we all know, drinking games without the drink are merely games.

The Festive Season

The Festive Season

The winter holidays over Christmas are synonymous with eggnog. Unless you live in the Southern Hemisphere, of course. Either way, you're probably going to want alcohol to help tolerate your family.



Cultural Roots

Cultural Roots

What better way to ingratiate yourself in the local culture when abroad than to drink with them? Likewise, this can be a great way to reflect on fond memories of a past vacation.

There's no joke coming. This is a legit point on it's very own.

It's A Celebration

It's A Celebration

At any given moment, someone, somewhere in the world is celebrating some sort of personal victory. It would be rude to deny them of such and so you can do your bit by having a drink for them.



It's Diplomatic

It's Diplomatic

Sure, alcohol in its excess can start more troubles than it was worth, but if reasonable people are involved, it can also go along way towards helping sort out a problem or overcome hurdles. Not actual hurdles. It's not advisable to drink before any track-and-field event.

It's History

It's History

Those who enjoy the finer things in life will also love the fact that they are quite literally delving in to the past when indulging in aged liquor.



Brunch

Brunch

If we're going to allow people to use hybrid words like "brunch" then it would surely be socially remiss of us to allow it without prefacing it with "boozy", right?

The Bartender

The Bartender

Let us not forget the bartender here. He or she has a college education to pay for/illegitimate children to raise. It would be wrong of us not to help.



The Dating Scene

The Dating Scene

Can you imagine facing the dating scene without some of that social lubricant we talked about?! Man, I'd rather stay home and drive rusty nails through my scrotum and in to the coffee table!

All Your Tinder Dates Look Like Their Profile Pictures

All Your Tinder Dates Look Like Their Profile Pictures

It's true.

Think about it...

You're welcome.



Cheese Without Wine?!

Cheese Without Wine?!

Cheese without wine would be like testicles without a penis (for lack of a better, less crude analogy).

Up In The Air

Up In The Air

As a person who goes through life enduring moderate to acute acrophobia, I'd say booze is an absolute necessary element involved in convincing me to get in an airplane.



Because You Have Kids

Because You Have Kids

I don't have kids (I wouldn't be able to take care of them if I did - not because I'm incompetent but because I really don't want to). But if I did, I'm sure that mommy and daddy would need their "juice" just as much as those little bundles of joy(less terror).

Because Of This Guy

Because Of This Guy

It's like my grandfather would always say (he's not dead but it makes it sound more authentic if I use past tense); "never trust a man who doesn't drink". And you know who supposedly didn't drink alcohol? Yep, this guy!

He also was said to have only had one testicle. You know who else lost a nut? Yeah, Lance Armstrong!! I rest my case.