25 Most Common Lies Parents Tell Their Kids

If you cross your eyes, they’ll stay that way

If you cross your eyes, they’ll stay that way

Honestly, I thought this only worked with when you pull a face, and even then I had my doubts.

You'll end up homeless unless you get good grades

You'll end up homeless unless you get good grades

Richard Branson didn't graduate. And don't get me started on Colonel Sanders...



You'll end up with a cold if you don't put on a coat

You'll end up with a cold if you don't put on a coat

It simply doesn't work that way. It's true that people end up sick more often in winter but it's got nothing to do with wearing a coat. The air is thinner and so, potentially, bacteria can spread more easily. Also, people tend to spend more time indoors in enclosed spaces, infecting each other with said bacteria. See, absolutely zero to do with wearing a coat. You're welcome.

You do whatever you want

You do whatever you want

Don't do that! Whatever you got from that, know this; now is the time to do as you're told. Believe me!



Anything to do with this guy

Anything to do with this guy

I don't trust him and neither should you. There's too many questions. I don't even think he is who he claims to be....

Be ready. We're leaving in 5 minutes

Be ready. We're leaving in 5 minutes

Cut forward about half an hour and you still haven't left yet...



Here comes daddy's truck!

Here comes daddy's truck!

Or, you know, "here come the airplane", etc. Let's be honest. That shit is not machinery of any kind. And even if it was, I still wouldn't want to eat it. I mean, who eats a truck?!

We'll see...

We'll see...

That always means "no". Always and without fail, it definitely means "no".



It will all be fine

It will all be fine

There is a difference between a slightly indifferent assurance of a positive outcome and knowing for sure. Just sayin'....

You can be anything you want to be

You can be anything you want to be

Your dad and I are each five-foot-nothing. You're probably not going to play in the NBA. Sorry.



You'll get a cold if you go out with wet hair

You'll get a cold if you go out with wet hair

For much the same reason as before where catching a cold is concerned, so too is this bullshit.

People will be nice to you if you're nice to them

People will be nice to you if you're nice to them

As become dishearteningly obvious the more life goes on, this is only true some of the time, and is therefore a shitty rule to live by. It doesn't mean you shouldn't be nice to people - you should. But don't be offended when they don't pay you the same courtesy. People suck!



The crust is the most nutritious part

The crust is the most nutritious part

It isn't. But for some reason, there's all sorts of different lies when it comes to bread crust. Perhaps it's because all the other slices are more agreeable with your taste buds but your mom doesn't want to waste money. Yeah, that's definitely it.

Mom; I'm just going out to buy milk

Mom; I'm just going out to buy milk

Returns a few hours later demanding help with enough bags to fit in half of the grocery store.



That's nice, dear

That's nice, dear

Okay, so it's a different dear (deer), but it's not like mom would notice anyway. She didn't even look.

I’ll think about it

I’ll think about it

Yeah, you know what that really means...



Just ignore the bullies and they'll go away

Just ignore the bullies and they'll go away

No they won't! Have you ever even met a bully?!

Eat your carrots. They'll help you see better

Eat your carrots. They'll help you see better

I demand to see your qualifications on the matter.

In truth, this myth stems from the British Royal Air Force and their World War II propaganda where they claimed a skillful pilot's deeds in the night could be attributed to a steady diet of carrots. While they continued to say that everyone flying in the Air Force should eat carrots to maintain their edge, the Brits were actually throwing the Germans off the scent while they used radar to locate German bombers.

 



The kids that make fun of you are simply jealous

The kids that make fun of you are simply jealous

Why would they be jealous? What of?

Let me hold on to your savings for you to keep it safe

Let me hold on to your savings for you to keep it safe

You're a little short of cash this week aren't you, mom?



I've got eyes in the back of my head

I've got eyes in the back of my head

Shave your head and let's see 'em, then.

Trust me, I know what I'm talking about/know what I'm doing

Trust me, I know what I'm talking about/know what I'm doing

This will become more and more relevant as life goes on. Eventually you realize that nobody ever really knows what they're doing at any time, much less when they're trying to raise children.



Dinner is almost ready

Dinner is almost ready

What this may be translated to is "Now, set the table".

You're such a handsome little boy, aren't you?!

You're such a handsome little boy, aren't you?!

Even if you looked like you'd been attacked by wolves and never healed, what is your mom supposed to say...??



Tell the truth and you won't be in trouble

Tell the truth and you won't be in trouble

Unless the truth makes me embarrassed or angry in any way, in which case, I reserve the right to reverse that decision.