25 Tortuously Crazy Methods People Are Using To Lose Weight

The Air Diet

The Air Diet

This one, which has gained popularity in France, is a little bit like going to a strip club in that you can look but you can't touch (which is why I don't go to strip clubs).

As the name might suggest, you're basically just starving yourself, however, you go through the rest of the preparation stuff in order to trick your brain in to believing that you ate.

Sounds absolutely horrible!

Insulin

Insulin

Some dieters have taken to injecting insulin so as to get their bodies to break down fat. It is a dangerous practice if not done properly and many people run the risk of developing diabetes for their troubles.

Oh yeah, and it doesn't work.



Coffee and Apples

Coffee and Apples

This one is exactly as it sounds. I don't care how much you like coffee or apples, too much of a good thing becomes a tortuous nightmare eventually.

Waist Wrapping

Waist Wrapping

Can you believe that people are tying saran wrap around their waists in order to make themselves sweat out the badness? Usually they just end up dehydrated and miserable.



The Sleeping Beauty

The Sleeping Beauty

Okay, so every time you feel hungry you just take a sleeping pill and sleep it off. Yeah, that totally sounds like something your doctor would advise!

Bee Pollen

Bee Pollen

Sure, bee pollen is pretty amazing in the grand scheme of nature but unfortunately, it probably can't do half of the things that it supposedly can do as a "super food". Your body needs more than simply bee pollen and if anything, there is the risk that you will encounter some allergic reaction to it.



Seeing Blue

Seeing Blue

Have you ever noticed why McDonalds don't use blue? Perhaps it's by coincidence or maybe Ronald and co. know exactly what they're doing. The color blue has been noted to be an appetite suppressant and while it may help you eat slightly less, the best thing about this approach is that it doesn't severely jeopardize your health like a lot of the others on this list!

Baby Food Diet

Baby Food Diet

The calorie intake is far less than what you might normally have for a meal (assuming you stick to one serving) and so it makes sense ....until you realize that a baby's dietary requirements are far different from that of an adult and that you could be putting your health at risk. Perhaps that's why it's marketed as "baby food" and not "adult food"....



Drugs

Drugs

We already know about this one but in no way should it be left off a list of crazy ways of losing weight. If you're one of the 98% or so of people who do not have a genetic predisposition causing you to be heavier than you actually want to/should be, then just make better food choices!

Some people even turn to hard drugs like heroin, just to lose weight! Seriously, they do!

Mononucleosis

Mononucleosis

This is a virus which, while it suppresses your appetite, it also comes with an array of other unnecessarily uncomfortable side-effects like sore throat, swollen tonsils and lymph nodes, and all 'round general fever shittiness. Yeah, it does sound crazy, doesn't it?!



Drunkorexia

Drunkorexia

I've never been a fan of hybrid words such as this, especially when they put your health at such risk. There's a million reasons why this is a horrible idea. Do we really need to list them?

The Gummy Bear Cleanse

The Gummy Bear Cleanse

The sugar-free ones, of course. Haven't you heard about how they give you diarrhea? Lycasin is the active ingredient (basically a pretty potent laxative). Perhaps they should market it as such and be done with it ...do you think that will get past the health authorities?



The Cabbage Soup Diet

The Cabbage Soup Diet

This is one which was popular back in the 90s but some people still do it now. It just means that you'll intake about half the calories that you might normally, however, you won't really have that much energy to actually do anything.

Ipecac Syrup

Ipecac Syrup

This stuff is used by medical health professionals to make someone throw up when they've poisoned themselves. So......I think we can see where this one is going and why it might be bad...



The Corset

The Corset

The corset has been used for a long, long time to achieve a thinner figure during the day. But it can cause undue stress on your internal organs in addition to being uncomfortable.

Feeding Tube

Feeding Tube

This is pretty hardcore and we have the psychiatric facilities to thank (or in particular, mentally ill patients who refuse to eat). A low calorie-high solution is pumped through a tube, directly in to the stomach and a state of ketosis ensues. Sounds legit but again, it's pretty hardcore, right?



Urine Injections

Urine Injections

Have you ever injected yourself with the urine of a pregnant woman? No? Well perhaps you don't want to lose weight badly enough!

It contains a hormone called chorionic gonadotropin which supposedly speeds up your metabolism because you've tricked your body in to thinking it's pregnant (side note: your body in general doesn't think - your brain is supposed to be in charge of that).

The Spoon Diet

The Spoon Diet

It's simple; you can only eat foods that may be eaten with a spoon as your only implement (yogurt, soup, etc). The problem; ice cream.



Ana Boot Camp

Ana Boot Camp

Yes, it is short for "anorexia". There are a bunch of sites on the net promoting this dangerous activity in which (presumably) impressionable minds are convinced that a diet of between 0 and 500 calories per day could somehow be a good thing. We don't need to discuss the side-effects of this - it should be perfectly obvious!

Stomach Stapling

Stomach Stapling

Usually only those with morbid obesity will be granted permission to undergo this procedure and must follow a strict diet during and after. It limits the amount of food passing through the digestive tract simply by sectioning off part of the stomach.



Cotton Wool Diet

Cotton Wool Diet

People who use this one soak the cotton balls in water and then swallow them to trick their bodies in to being full. Two problems; 1) the wool can gather and give you an array of internal problems, and 2) it doesn't work (you're an idiot).

The Tapeworm Diet

The Tapeworm Diet

Ingesting a tapeworm and then letting it eat and grow inside you so that you lose weight = crazy AF!!!



The Master Cleanse

The Master Cleanse

This one is questionable at best and many equate it to pointless torture. It involves a cocktail of lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup, but nothing else. Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Tongue Patch

Tongue Patch

Okay, so people actually sew a patch of fabric on to their tongues in order to make swallowing solid food so painful that it renders the act impossible.

Fuck!



Fasting

Fasting

As evidenced by many of the methods on this list, fasting goes by many names and has many methods. But good, old-fashioned fasting or starving is not good at all. Your body needs certain nutrients and that's why nature came up with this thing called food. You just have to choose the right foods to put in so as you don't end up looking like a plus-sized science experiment that has gotten out of hand.

Almost all of the methods on this list (except for maybe the blue thing) are detrimental to your health. Eating healthily and exercising is good. The end.